watch out for the mogels!!
i don't ski. i've never ever done it. i will most likely never ski because i don't like the cold, i don't like heights, and i really don't like broken bones. but i've had the following conversation with random strangers about 5 billion times...
random stranger: where are you from?
me: utah.
random and very assuming stranger: oh. do you ski?
me: no.
random judgemental stranger: why not?
there is no good and succinct answer to the "why not?" question. no matter what i say, i come off as freakish. so now i take the easy way out and i lie...
random stranger: where are you from?
me: utah.
random, about to be lied to, stranger: do you ski?
me: not well. (i'm sure that if i ever skied, i would not do it well, but to the random stranger it comes off as modesty)
random gullible stranger: do you like skiing or snowboarding better?
me: snowboarding. (not a complete lie since i think snowboarding sounds much cooler than skiing and thus i like it better. besides, i view myself as embracing all that is youthful and edgey, and so my hypothetical winter sport of choice is obviously snowboarding.)
there. i've come clean. i lie about skiing. i lie about it all the time. i lied about it to my ex-quasi-boyfriend when he came home with a new snowboard under his arm. we even ended up talking about my favorite resorts and planned a future excursion. i lied about skiing on my date saturday night. it's just easier that way.
i do the same thing with dating. the dating world is like one huge skiing extravaganza and i have no idea what's going on. my dating history is virtually nonexistent and i always find myself having similar ski-like conversations...
random aquaintence/family member/vagrant: what are you up to nowadayz?
me: school. i'm at byu and i'm majoring in illustration which i...
random horrible person: are you dating anyone?
me: no.
random aggravatingly chatty person: hmmm... well, you're pretty, why not?
again with the "why not?". three years ago, when that conversation first started happening, i tried to answer it seriously. i'd mumble something about commitment issues, or the timing not being right. then i started to see the humor in it and would say something like, "well, ever since my last boyfriend took out that restraining order i've just been a little hesitant..." or "i have syphillis" or just "i'm not normal, ok?" but now i take the easy road. i've learned to say, "not anymore" and my all time favorite, "i still have a hard time talking about it." that way i don't have to expend as much energy and i also don't immediately come off as freakish.
there. i've come clean again. i lie about my lack of dating experience. and again, i lied to my ex-quasi-boyfriend about it. ooo! but i didn't lie about it on my date saturday night, so HA!
random stranger: where are you from?
me: utah.
random and very assuming stranger: oh. do you ski?
me: no.
random judgemental stranger: why not?
there is no good and succinct answer to the "why not?" question. no matter what i say, i come off as freakish. so now i take the easy way out and i lie...
random stranger: where are you from?
me: utah.
random, about to be lied to, stranger: do you ski?
me: not well. (i'm sure that if i ever skied, i would not do it well, but to the random stranger it comes off as modesty)
random gullible stranger: do you like skiing or snowboarding better?
me: snowboarding. (not a complete lie since i think snowboarding sounds much cooler than skiing and thus i like it better. besides, i view myself as embracing all that is youthful and edgey, and so my hypothetical winter sport of choice is obviously snowboarding.)
there. i've come clean. i lie about skiing. i lie about it all the time. i lied about it to my ex-quasi-boyfriend when he came home with a new snowboard under his arm. we even ended up talking about my favorite resorts and planned a future excursion. i lied about skiing on my date saturday night. it's just easier that way.
i do the same thing with dating. the dating world is like one huge skiing extravaganza and i have no idea what's going on. my dating history is virtually nonexistent and i always find myself having similar ski-like conversations...
random aquaintence/family member/vagrant: what are you up to nowadayz?
me: school. i'm at byu and i'm majoring in illustration which i...
random horrible person: are you dating anyone?
me: no.
random aggravatingly chatty person: hmmm... well, you're pretty, why not?
again with the "why not?". three years ago, when that conversation first started happening, i tried to answer it seriously. i'd mumble something about commitment issues, or the timing not being right. then i started to see the humor in it and would say something like, "well, ever since my last boyfriend took out that restraining order i've just been a little hesitant..." or "i have syphillis" or just "i'm not normal, ok?" but now i take the easy road. i've learned to say, "not anymore" and my all time favorite, "i still have a hard time talking about it." that way i don't have to expend as much energy and i also don't immediately come off as freakish.
there. i've come clean again. i lie about my lack of dating experience. and again, i lied to my ex-quasi-boyfriend about it. ooo! but i didn't lie about it on my date saturday night, so HA!
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