thanksgiving 2005: adventures in armoury

crazy cousin once removed: where are the green beans? WHERE ARE THE GREEN BEANS??

great aunt: they're still cooking.
ccor: great. GREAT! you make everything you like, but the one thing i want it STILL COOKING!!
me: seriously. she's so selfish.
great aunt: they'll be done in 5 minutes.
ccor: GAAAH!
(five minutes later)
ccor: FINALLY!!
me: it's a good thing you didn't over react.
ccor: what?
me: no. seriously. you played it really cool.

in an attempt to break with tradition, i decided that this thanksgiving i would bond with my cousin. and with the above exception, i pretty much stayed on his good side. i listened to him talk about 'nam. i went with him to walmart and helped him buy a water pik. i admired his gun collection (not a euphemism, so don't even go there). and when he said he'd hidden the last gun in his collection upstairs "just in case", i smiled and said, "good thinking".

i've turned over a new leaf again.

in other words, i have no crazy stories to tell.
nothing involving my boobs.
or getting punched in the stomach.
or choked.
or held at knife point in the kitchen.
or having my butt grabbed.
or getting hit in the head with a hammer.

i know this might disappoint some of you.

but my crazy cuz and i have totally bonded.

we are now, in fact, on such good terms that at the end of the night he gave me a gift...


ya... i'm totally bringing this with me to future family dinners.
who needs sarcasm when you have a really sharp knife?