army

i got a present the other day.
a bracelet.
from ralph.
the old man at the park.

who was pretty nice compared to all the moms at the park who never talk to me because they decide that i'm either the spazziest, unmarried mother they've ever seen or the spazziest, unmarried, older than them nanny. it's a relief when the dads or grandpas are with the kids because they're just as clueless as me. and they talk to me. and give me bracelets. and don't raise their eyebrows when i yell, "way to slide, j-dawg!"

so, ya, ralph was completely nice, but being an old grandpa man, he was also loud and boring and talking to me about his entire family. and i did the polite smile and nod thing while i sat on the bench and watched "billy madison" in my head. and i was just to the part where billy's in the bathtub debating hair care products when i heard ralph say, "oh! here's my nephew! he just got back from iraq." and i politely smiled and nodded and turned around to see

my dreams come true. well done, u.s. army. well done.

i stood there, mouth agape, much in the style of jane and michael banks seeing mary poppins slide up their railing. ("kathryn, we are not a codfish").

he was possibly the most beautiful man i've ever seen in real life. and the only thing i could think to say was, "you just got back from iraq? well, take off your shirt and tell me about it." but somehow that didn't seem right. insteasd i just watched him run off into the distance.

thank you ralph, for the bracelet, but next time, would you give me your nephew?