set up

one of my first dates ever was a triple blind date where i spent the first half of the evening coming to terms with the fact that i'd been classified as the ugly friend, and the last half of the evening concentrating very hard on "tommy boy" and not on my friends making out with their dates. then when my date (the ugly one) scooted closer to me i stood up, said i had a 9:30 curfew and went home.

it was a bad night.

even without that memory, i still wouldn't do the blind date thing. i don't beat odds, i maintain them. and to have a blind date actually work out, you have to be someone who beats odds.

the biggest factor towards me not blind dating, is that i don't want to find out what people think of me via their concept of my perfect match. it's too big a dose of realism. i like living in my dream world where i'm more than freakishly tall and 23 years old (that's 65 in provo years). i like thinking that i'm funny, and talented, and also good with directions.

and every time i hear...
"kat! i totally want to set you up with this guy i know. he's like, 35... what do you think?"
or
"do you work here every night? because there's a guy i'd like you to date. he's unmarried, mormon, and 6'8"... what do you think?"
...i have this nagging hunch that if i were to dig a hole in the ground and hide, life would be a lot easier.

to those of you who continue to put faith in the blind date,
i applaud you.

but in my head i'm mocking you.
and most likely to your face i'm mocking you.
(i mean really, what are you thinking is going to happen?)

Comments

Jay said…
Totally there with you. I have strict policies against blind dating: like never go on them anymore.

It might have been exciting when I was a freshman, but not so much anymore. Too much awkwardness, not enough chill.
Em said…
blind dating should be outlawed. and yet... you really can't win either way. sure, sometimes the people your friends think is the perfect match makes you re-evaluate your wardrobe and social status and whether or not you should allow yourself to leave the house again... but what if your friends aren't setting you up at all? what does that mean? have they given up on me? oh gosh! somebody tell me what it means!
Leah said…
I've been going to a bunch of trainings on domestic violence and polygamy and I think the polygamist fundamentalist groups invented blind dates, only you have to marry the guy if you show up and there will probably be other girls there...
Kirsten said…
...um... em your comment was funny
Jon said…
My biggest problem with blind dates is that so much is expected to come out of it. Obviously the people who set you up expect something, and the mere knowing that someone expects something to come out of it causes you AND your date to have certain expectations, which results in all kinds of tension and awkwardity. Maybe I'm just a tense, awkward guy.
barnesanova said…
A blind date is usually a real vote of confidence on one of two things, your intuition via textual introductions (newspaper ads, internet dating games, etc), OR a mutual friend's opinion of the two of you. The latter is MUCH freakier, because over time I'd be willing to be that you get a great picture of how you're viewed by other people, which to your point Kat is much scarier than living in a shell.

how tall are you for god's sake?
kat said…
#1 5'11"

#2 ten minutes ago, in front of shopko i bumped into a guy i randomly met three weeks ago. his response to my "i haven't seen you in a while" statement was, "ya, i've been hanging out with my new girlfriend... it's pretty serious... we're totally going to get married... i met her last wednesday on a blind date."

yep. that's pretty much the easiest way to make me flustered.
Kimberly said…
You never know, Kat. One of my best friends met the love of his life on a blind date. They are now VERY happily married.

What if Ralph, the old man in the park, set you up with his nephew? That would be a great blind date.
Anonymous said…
Blind dates are the bomb.

And by bomb, I mean all freaky wierd, and uncomfortable.

But one of my ex's was a blind date.

So I still don't know where on the fence I sit >:)

Oh, and 5' 11" isn't that tall, there are just a bunch of midget guys in The most hap, hap, happiest Valley on the earth.

(Says the 6'4" dude)
Erika said…
My last blind date is now my stalker.
Jon said…
The people most likely to set you up on a blind date and their reaons for doing so:

1. Grandparents concerned that, at 22, it's about time you got off your butt and fulfilled your priesthood obligation.

2. Married, engaged, seriously dating, or otherwise non-single people who, enraptured in non-single bliss, consider it a divine mandate to make sure everyone else is also non-single.

3. Emma/Yente-like girls in your ward, because they just like seeing who would be cute together.

4. Best friends, because there's this girl that they reeeeeeeeeeally like, and they need a wingman, please (grrrrrrrrrr . . .).

5. Coworkers, but this hasn't happened to me, so I'm not familiar with their motives.

6. Girls who really want to date you, but don't have the guts to ask you if you have a girlfriend, let alone ask you on a date. (You don't believe me? Just ask and I'll start pointing fingers. You know who you are.)
Chester B. said…
Blind dates suck.

Unless your date is actually blind...although that could be an awkward situation in and of itself, too.

Uh...yeah.